Are gap years (gap yahs) simply an excuse to get pissed and ‘find yourself’?

22 Dec

Gap years have become synonymous with tousled hair, ‘ethnic’ beaded bracelets and late-night beach parties.  Attitudes towards gap years have changed – when I was younger, gap years were almost encouraged as a way of gathering more ‘life’ experience, a way of exploring the world and doing things outside the rigid school curriculum.

In the last few years, though, the ‘student on a gap year’ seems to conjure up images of frightfully posh eighteen year olds, with wads of money from the Bank of Mummy and Daddy who think that getting pissed in a different country means expanding one’s mind and perspective.   There’s a plethora of stuff out there that mocks the average gap yah student for example, this sketch which is pretty spot-on in some respects – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKFjWR7X5dU – and does anyone remember the furore about good old Max Gogarty and his ‘ironic’ journal detailing his travels in the Guardian? http://www.theguardian.com/travel/blog/2008/feb/14/skinsblog

I think it’s a real shame that these caricatures have come to pervade our associations with gap years, and as a person who had a gap year myself, I can safely say that its not all ridiculously posh, rich, vacuous students (debatable…!) looking to sleep around.  My gap year was non-voluntary and came suddenly when I was forced to leave university after a term due to depression and anxiety.  It was entirely unplanned, and initially I found the idea awful.  I saw it more as another year delaying the inevitable while comparing myself with my friends who all seemed to be having so much fun at uni, and there were times when I became very introverted, frustrated and generally disillusioned.  However, for me, it helped to begin the healing process and I managed to get into some sort of structure which is vitally important when you’re down.

Firstly, I needed money.  I ended up working full-time in retail which taught me a lot of things, namely that I didn’t want to work in retail.  I also learnt to curb my expectations.  I think it’s good, no vital, to have dreams and ambitions but many of my dreams were illusions – unobtainable goals.  These only served to make me feel like a failure as I could never achieve the impossible, but working in a monotonous and at times, incredibly boring, job gave me a little perspective about what I should expect for my life.  In a way, by doing something I knew I didn’t want to do, I felt more determined to find something that I did want to do.  Something that would open more opportunities to me and I started looking into courses and universities that I would be better suited to.

Later on in the year, having saved my money for a while, I decided I wanted to travel and engage in the more ‘typical’ gap year experience. Strangely, my good friend was in a very similar position to me and we both decided to do something a bit different.  We booked ourselves onto a volunteering program in Cambodia for a couple of months, where we worked in a school for poor children and an orphanage as English teachers.  At the time, I desperately wanted to escape the tedium of my life, and the malignant thoughts that followed me everywhere.  Yes, I was incredibly self-indulgent but the beauty of my gap year experience was its ability to change my perspective.  I met some of the nicest people I have ever met, and probably will ever meet, who were incredibly strong, kind and genuine despite the fact that they had very little in material terms.  It was refreshing to escape my narrow world of being trapped in my head and I even felt ashamed that I should be so focused on myself.  The picture below shows Indu and I teaching English to a class of the cutest Cambodian children.  Their energy and enthusiasm was incredibly infectious.

Image

So, even though the notion of ‘finding yourself’ is beyond cheesy, my entire gap year experience (at home and abroad) was vital in making me who I am today.  It also gave me the travelling bug, and since then I’ve done internships and volunteered in a number of countries as it’s addictive to lose yourself in another culture.  It also taught me the value of hard work, the kindness in other people (which I had pretty much given up believing in at that point) and that sometimes you need to realise that it is all in your head.  And the world is far bigger than your head.

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4 Responses to “Are gap years (gap yahs) simply an excuse to get pissed and ‘find yourself’?”

  1. Carl December 22, 2013 at 3:08 pm #

    Great post! It’s a shame that gap years have now become associated with that stereotype, but sadly it is also understandable with several of the people I’ve met on the road. Like you I certainly had no interest in wasting mine simply being wasted in several tropical places.

    Still I guess all that really matters in the end though is that the individual takes away what they want from the experience. If that’s partying it all away then I guess that’s up to them…

    • jadeinlondon December 22, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

      Hi Carl, thanks for your comment 🙂 I agree, I just think it’s a shame that people seem to think that’s all that people want to do but there are plenty of travellers out there that to seem to perpetuate the stereotype. But like you said, everyone travels for different reasons. Personally, I love it for the sheer escapism and the fact that you can get to know such interesting people who you’d never normally meet, but for some people, partying may be their main motivation which is fine too!
      PS your photography on your blog is amazing!

  2. jeie January 17, 2014 at 4:05 am #

    Hi Jade. You are angel in disguise to me today. i did not go to work today to find myself and to know what I really want in life.i typed in ‘how to know wha you want in life’ in google search and your article came out in the suggestions. i exactly feel what you felt before. i am 27 years old and i feel that i’ve been wasting my time to show what other want me to be.i always feel depressed and anxious about things. i suddenly stopped and just cant movbe on.i dont know if i still know myself. hope we can share our thoughts with each other via email.

    • jadeinlondon January 26, 2014 at 2:55 pm #

      I think everyone goes through feelings like this so please know that you’re not alone. But it’s not a permanent state, it’s actually incredibly exciting to be able to discover who you really are and what you enjoy in life with time x

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