I completed my first novel draft last week and have printed it all out, ordered it neatly in a folder and put it to one side.
While I’m obviously ecstatic that I’ve completed it – I had set myself the deadline of the end of October but at one point, that seemed near impossible – I’m suffering some sort of weird anxiety about reading it objectively. I know it’ll be rubbish – first drafts are meant to be (this is what I keep telling myself!) but there’s something so painful about actually realising that firsthand. That words that I thought were great at the time of typing them actually are embarrassingly bad. Plus I’ve started having doubts about the plot, the story, everything! Which is why I’ve avoided having to read the damned thing so far.
But, I’ll have to take a look at it soon. Then I’ll cringe, beat my hands in frustration and be temporarily riddled with insecurities as I read over my clunky prose. But I guess I just need to get it over and done with.
This is my last week at work. I’ve worked at this particular PR firm for one year and four months which is very long for me. But now I have been awarded a scholarship to study for a Masters so I’ll be doing that for a year which will be very different. (Too many italicised words here.) And to reward myself – or perhaps just because my Masters will require it – I will be getting myself a new laptop, One with a larger screen and shiny keys, one that doesn’t take two hours to start up before deciding to freeze on me… so I can enjoy tapping away and writing my stories as and when they come 🙂
Writer ramblings 
Woohoo! Well done!
And yes it is so much nicer to start your laptop up and be able to write almost straight away. Do you start the Masters soon?
Thanks Denise!! Yes, will be starting my Masters in a couple of weeks – am both excited and nervous! X
Congratulations! Finishing your first draft is a fantastic achievement. I hope you go all the way – are you planning to get it published?
Thanks! My ultimate goal is to get a novel of mine published but seeing as this is my first, I don’t know whether it’ll be good enough even once I’ve edited.. if not, guess I’ll just have to persist and move onto novel 2 equipped with the knowledge I acquired from writing number 1 🙂
Well done Jade on your novel! I found your blog through tiny buddha. I agree that redrafting your work is scary. Im in the middle of writing a self help book for graduates to find their dream job in the world. Redrafting can be scary, but it helps us grow and learn at the same time.
This too is a first for me to create something in writing. Maybe I should find a writer’s retreat like that Quaker’s place you went to.
Hope all goes well and remember that every successful novelist started from the same point, redrafting their work from the beginning until its a success.
Good Luck
Adam
Thanks Adam! A self help book for graduates to find their dream job in the world sounds like a fabulous idea – I know that many graduates, including me, would find something like this incredibly useful. Redrafting is indeed scary but necessary to develop and improve.. I’m just a serious procrastinator!
I hope it all goes well with you too, keep me updated 🙂
Best,
Jade